I am back in reality.
I arrived back to the states July 8th and have been struggling with readjusting. I could not sleep the first night I was home and I missed Africa horribly! I did not realize how much Uganda meant to me while I was in it, but now that I am gone, I realize. I miss the culture, the people, the land, and UGANDAN TIME.
Now I am on a new journey…
A Journey that I feel inadequate to take. A Journey that requires walking not running. A Journey through my homeland.
Have you ever been an abyss of transgression? You are so low, at the bottom of the pit that there is no way you are coming up. You are broken, and the only person that can help you is Jesus. So you fall on your knees in an act of prostration to cry out to the ONE you turned your back on. The ONE you rebuked. The ONE you thought you did not need. The ONE who “…laid down His life for (you).” (1st John 3:16) The ONE they call Redeemer. The ONE they call Messiah. The ONE they call Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, and before the Lord you humble yourself to ask for help. Then all of a sudden your giant doesn’t look so big. You realize that this bottomless chasm that you are in has a rope to climb out, and this rope is Jesus.
So the merciful and gracious Lord defeats your Goliath. You realize that you are weak and He is strong. You realize that He can do anything. You realize that you too can do anything when you hold hands with Jesus.
Time goes by and you forget. You forget that it was only because of God’s strength that your giant fell. You forget that you did NOTHING and He did EVERYTHING. You stop relying on the LORD. You stop falling at the CROSS. You stop because you think you can. Your pride gets the best of you.
“God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions; it is by grace you have been saved.” (Eph 2:4-5) He wants you to be FREE. Free to sing. Free to dance. Free to clap. Free to love and be loved in return. So why do we wait to be broken to accept this freedom? This freedom was given to us when Jesus died on the cross. This freedom we receive when we accept His Grace.
I confess that I am guilty of just this. Not fully accepting His Grace in my life. Not coming to the Lord with a humble heart everyday. Not giving him the daily routines of my life, and only coming to him with the BIG stuff. Oh my Pride, leave me be.
What would it look like to like a humble life? If I lived every waking moment for God’s glory and not my own, what would my life look life? Would I be still? Would I have peace? All I know is that I want to be FREE. There is a burning desire in my soul to get to know the Lord. This is what I hear him saying to me:
“Come Lisa, come and know me. Let me show you who I AM.”
-GOD
Yes, God talks. He may not use a burning bush or a mighty storm, but He is talking and for once I am still. Still enough to listen and hear His soft words. I finally realize why my friends in the wards are so peaceful. I believe it is because they truly know they cannot do it alone. They truly live a humble life. They are an inspiration to me, because when I listen to some of their stories my heart breaks yet many still have hope. They say that their life is in the Lord’s hands and come what may. Their humbleness is a huge reminder for me.
“…Train yourself to be godly.” (1st Timothy 4:7)
I cannot get so busy that I forget that these small things in my life are detrimental without the Lord. So I am asking you to pray. Pray that I can train myself to be godly by investing time in the word and reflecting. Pray that I go to God with not just the big things but with the SMALL things. Pray that the Creator of the Universe, the Star Breather, and the Lord my God will guide me always.
I feel like God wanted me here in Uganda so he could remind me how much I need him!
I love children. I love it when they want to hold my hand or play silly games. I love it when they laugh. I love it when they want to be close to you. This little boy stole my heart. His name is Kenneth. He is a little boy from the village behind Kagando. He wanted love and I wanted to love him. I really just wanted to take him home with me.
About two weeks ago the only two girls in the fistula ward who spoke English left to go home. These two girls befriended me and so I was sad to see them go. These two girls were Peace and Harriet.
So what do you do with a bunch of girls who do not speak your language? You SING! Lindsey and I spent Friday afternoon singing with them. We had no one to translate, but that did not stop God from allowing us to spend hours in fellowship! How great is God!
Afterwards we headed to the market in Kasinga with our friend Sarah who is also form the USA. We placed orders for skirts and dresses with our seamstress and then something amazing happened. Lindsey found the closest thing to a COOKIE. It was a hot, fried banana cookie wrapped in banana leaves. I think the best thing about it was Lindsey’s face. She was so excited about it!
The next day (Saturday) the three of us walked to the dam. It was a hot morning and since we were walking/hiking we all wore our trousers. We started on our journey with some bottles of water, cameras, and a map drawn out by Jane the elective student from Oxford who went back home. We finally made it to the dam after an hour. It was so beautiful and reminded me of the Swiss Family Robinson walk through at Disney World. We climbed up on the dam and then made our way up the river to a waterfall. As we forded the river we manage to completely soak our trousers. So since the walk home was about an hour and it was midday we waved down a boda boda (motorcycle taxi) and somehow all three of us plus our driver rode on it all the way home. We pulled up to Kagando Hospital with one too many riding on the boda boda, all of us girls wearing trousers (which is okay for hiking but still kind of awkward), and to top it off our trousers are wet therefore our driver’s trousers got wet!!! Yes, it was an adventure!
Sunday-
Went to Chapel and heard an awesome talk from Jessica who is apart of the Mother’s Union in Uganda. Then I went to St. Theresa’s Secondary School (High School) to give my testimony. Rev. Gideon and Sarah accompanied me.
Monday-Friday
Spent the week doing in OPD, Lab, and Palliative Care Outreach. It was a rough week, because I saw so many people with cancer. I saw the same woman who has stomach cancer when I went out for Palliative care. She wanted to go to another hospital or get treatment, she wanted to fight it but all they could give her was oral morphine. Then a woman in OPD came in to complain about discharge coming from her nipple. Her breast was enlarged and the doctor said that she most likely has breast cancer and there is nothing that they could do for her because they did not catch it early. I saw a lot of subtle tears from women and children.
Friday night a group of us went to watch the stars at the MTN tower. Then yesterday (Sunday) Sarah and I went to visit the village her house Mom is from. Lillian (Mom who Sarah is living with) grew up just over the mountain in the valley. We walked there to meet her Mom. Her mother made us tea and we ate groundnuts from the garden. We also met about ten other children from the village who all were welcomed in the Mother’s house. We had a great time!
Tomorrow (Tuesday) Lindsey and I leave for Kampala. Sarah is also going to come with us because her cousin lives in Kampala. We will spend a week there having down time before we come home and exploring the capital of course!
I am most excited about 4th of July in Uganda, because we will be spending our Saturday at the U.S. Embassy! How often do you get to go to the U.S. embassy to spend 4th of July? NOT OFTEN! Possibly, NEVER! So while you all are cooking out and setting off fireworks we will be at the Embassy.
Today we gathered to sing songs. The girls took turns singing in their local language, and afterward they would translate it for me. They sung songs about the glory of God in the midst of hardship, heartbreak, and despair. We clapped our hands, jumped around, put our hands in the air, and danced for Jesus today. We danced in laughter as I mimicked their dance moves. We danced as sisters do when they are little. Today Harriet danced without her bucket. Today she danced without a catheter. Today she danced for JOY.
A young woman who is waiting for the repair sang me her story. She once lived a party lifestyle. She drank lots and danced the night away in local bars, until the Lord came to her. The Lord saved her and redeemed her, and now she SINGS about it!
Today I found a way to connect with the girls, today I found a way to have them share their story. Today I realized we all have a SONG.
What’s yours?
